(2002-04-05 - 11:44 p.m.)
Just for a change, here's an original composition, rather than someone else's words:
I am terrified that I'll scare you off / And you'll look at me through that expression / the one you save for tramps in the gutter.
I am afraid that I'll smother you / And you'll want to throw me off / like that cold you had last winter.
I am scared stiff that you'll finally see through me / and reveal this fraud to the rest of the world / like the dog-faced boy at the carnival.
I'm caught in your headlights / hoping that I find a way out.
*****
Feeling kind of melancholy tonight. It's been a slow day and I've been brooding.
I met a girl in the mall today that I used to date. She has put on a lot of weight and I was loathed to find myself thinking that I was well out of that one. How fucking shallow is that? She hurt me, but that's no excuse...
It's been a week for meeting people from my past. I was out and about yesterday afternoon and met several people that I used to go to school with. I was scared by the number of them that are married or have kids.
I'm 22 for goodness sake... I don't want kids yet. Frankly, the idea scares the hell out of me.
Each to their own I suppose... I guess that I just want to do more things before I tie myself up witht that. Not that I don't want relationships and love, of course I do... but that's a whole different ball game.
Plus, kids hate me... I always seem to make them scream, just by looking at them. What's with that? Guess you can't please everyone...
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