(2002-04-26 - 7:40 p.m.)
I sometimes wonder if I will ever have confidence in myself and my abilities. I've been feeling a lot better about things just recently, but I sometimes think that all it will take is a single comment and the veneer will crack, and people's perception of me will disintegrate.
I'm always so worried about letting people down, disappointing them, not being all that they want me to be, or think that I am. I've never looked upon myself as being a good human being. There always seems to be some reason in the back of my mind to think that I am not good enough. I'm always my own worst critic.
Even now, when things seem to be realtively good for me, I'm finding something to be worried about. That is so typical of me... why can't I just sit back and enjoy it?
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