(2002-05-05 - 12:18 p.m.)
Just lately one or two people who have come to know me a little better keep asking me why I get nervous around people or why I feel I have so little confidence in myself.
And you know what? It makes me feel like crying, because they don't see what keeps festering inside me; all of the things that have made me this way. Because they are buried too close to that secret place where we keep things locked away.
I guess those people will see me as a nutjob, because they can't understand where I'm coming from. But I feel so insecure about myself that I can't put it into words without sounding like a mental patient. And that makes things hard; hard for me and hard for them. All I ask is that those people have patience with me... give me time to breath and room to move. Maybe that way I can open up, learn a bit about myself and knock down a few of these walls. Because I don't want to be like this forever...
I think that I have genuine problems that I need to sort out around intimacy and trust. I hope, with a little help, that it won't be the case in the future...
Currently Spinning:
Link-O-Rama Link Of The Day: