(2002-05-09 - 9:57 p.m.)
I feel tired and drained. I think that I am slowly coming apart. I'm sitting here in front of my computer, fatigued and shivering, not knowing whether I am coming or going.
And what for? What am I doing and where am I going? Whilst some incredible things have happened to me just recently, in other ways life has just become a hazy blur, with me drifting from day to day, not taking anything in.
Even though I know that there are people who care, tonight I feel so helpless and alone. I don't know who to turn to at times like this. I can feel that mental fog descending like it did before... and I feel so unable to stop it. That shcizophrenic way with time is setting in, and all I can do is watch it return.
Why is nothing ever simple? I get the feeling that before long all this will come to a head. And there will be tears. There are always tears.
"Grief is the price we pay for love."
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