(2002-08-26 - 5:00 p.m.)
The past few days have been so good. I really don't want to return to that horrible every day drudgery. I need to do something that gives me some kind of satisfaction. At the moment it's all for the money, and that's no way to live life.
Seeing all the guys again at the weekend was fantastic. Seeing how they've all grown; remembering how much I love them all; sharing good times. I miss that.
I've met some amazing people this year, and made one or two really good friends. But somehow I still don't feel at home. I need to find some place to settle. I need to find that peace still.
* * * * *
"I'll make it through the rainy days / I'll be the one who stands here longer than the rest / When my landscape changes, rearranges / I'll be stronger than I've ever been.
I'm all alone and finally / Getting stronger / You'll come to see / Just what I can be / I'm getting stronger.
Sometimes I feel so down and out / Like emotion that's been captured in a maze / I have my ups and downs / Trials and tribulations / I overcome it day by day / A new me, that's what I'm looking for.
I'm all alone and finally / Getting stronger / You'll come to see / Just what I can be / I'm getting stronger."
* * * * *
I love you. And I'm jealous that he gets to be there for you. And it's hard to sit back and watch it all happen. Like I said, life is whacked.
* * * * *
Currently spinning: "A Rush of Blood To The Head", Coldplay. "Songs For The Deaf", Queens Of The Stoneage. "Angels With Dirty Faces", Sugababes.
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