The Masque
(10.02.2003 - 2:48 p.m.)

I think perhaps that life is about duality. It is at once the most uplifting roller coaster ride you will ever take, and yet the most serious undertaking you could possibly imagine. Somehow you have to be able to look at your life and laugh heartily, and yet still consider it to be the most heavyweight of responsibilities. In that respect I believe that life is like rock n' roll: It is thrilling and entertaining, but ultimately it doesn't matter. And yet at the same time you have to consider it to be the only thing that really does matter.

I think that if you can negotiate those contradictions in your head, whilst maintaining a sense of yourself, life is yours for the taking.

oOo oOo oOo

It's funny how your perceptions change with time. Or perhaps it isn't funny, rather a natural progression. But only a few years ago, I would have laughed in your face if you had suggested to me that I buy an album by REM. They were the antithesis of everything that I was interested in musically. They were the Beatles to my Rolling Stones; the David Bowie to my Led Zeppelin; the John Williams to my Jimi Hendrix.

Odd then that I should be sitting here, listening to Reveal, thinking that it is some of the most beautiful music I have heard.

what I want
what I really want is
just to live my life on high

and I know
I know you want the same
I can see it in your eyes

I've been high
I've climbed so high
but life sometimes
it washes over me

oOo oOo oOo

Maybe I'll be like Edgar Allan Poe. I'll be a genius when I'm dead.

"Charlatan, plagiarist, whimpering child, egomaniac, braggart and irresponsible drunkard, he did what few American writers had ever tried to do before: he tapped the rich reservoir of the subconscious mind to set free the terrible images which had seldom been allowed to stalk the printed page."

Me, as of 5 minutes ago.

oOo oOo oOo

Update, 5:22pm: Someone did a search for my name on Yahoo. Someone has actually been searching the internet for details about me. That's pretty scary. The fact that they found this diary is even more so. Who the hell would be searching for me? Was it you? If it was you, put my mind at rest will you?

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