Nearer Than Heaven
(17.07.2005 - 4:04 p.m.)

I think I needed this solitary weekend. It feels as if it has helped me to put things into perspective. I think the fact that I watched "I Heart Huckabees" helped. For those interested in quirky films, good comedy and the larger existential questions that life poses, I recommend it.

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I wonder why there has never been a decent compilation of Danny Elfman's music released. Oh, sure, there have been compilations. Two volumes in fact. But neither are exhaustive. Neither offer a comprehensive career overview, and both are missing significant work. If there is any justice in the world, and should any music executive happen to start reading this, then please, for the love of God (or Danny Elfman for that matter) give the people what they want. I promise that I would buy ten copies and give them to my friends as presents.

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The truth is that I really don't know what I want from life. I am not driven by my work. In fact, I find it mind numbing. Commerce and consumerism doesn't interest me in the slightest, as I really feel that they hold no value. I've never had a grand ambition that I've wanted to strive for, like becoming an astronaut, or an oceanographer. The only thing that has ever made me feel alive is music. And frankly, I'm not sure what talent I have as far as that is concerned. And even if the talent was there, the responsibilities are now too great to warrant giving it all up and trying to put a band together.

I really have no idea what I am for.

But does anyone?

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