Who Wants To?
(17.12.2002 - 3:21 p.m.)

Mugshots

Name: Nicole
Diary: tuluum
Nicole says: "ok... don't kick the baby... :)"
Regz says: I've known Nicole for a very short period of time, but I'm convinced of a couple of things: 1) That she has outsanding taste in music. 2) That she is far more than she considers herself to be. I hope she'll be a good friend.

This is the last Mugshot that I have of you good folks. But if you'd like to see yours here, then click here to read how. I hope I'll be able to post some more in the future.

* * * * *

Beauty, in the purest sense of the word, is something terrifying. Real beauty is neither soft, nor consolatory; it is harsh, searing and powerful.

Beauty is Terror.

But I suspect that all of us, in some way, have a deep desire to be terrified; it hones us and refines us; it lets us know that we are alive. And if beauty is terror, and terror affirms our lives, then it confirms that Aristotlean concept of desire; that we really only have one: to live forever.

Immortality: the art of dying without dying?

* * * * *

Does it mean something to lead such a solitary existence? Is it detrimental to be so isolated? And what is the true nature of isolation, anyway?

I got into bed last night, the lamp emitting a warm glow by the side of me, and I didn't feel a connection to anything. I was me, alone with nothing but my thoughts, and I was the only one listening. And it seems peculiar, how one can be so comfortbale with that isolation, and yet loathe it.

How is it that the same thing that is comfortable, can also be a source of such worry and confusion? Is it because familiarity breeds contempt? Or is it precisely because of beauty and terror?

* * * * *

Currently spinning: "Open Heart Zoo", Martin Grech.

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